Welcome back to our ‘Billions MVP Fanbook,’ a compilation post commemorating all those in honor of achievement for the utmost brazen, uber shameless, ultra scheming, unmatched bad asses to date – from sports references, music, and tasty food to pop culture remarks, shocking twists and ultimate paybacks.
In case you missed our previous awards, you can catch up with season four episode one, episode two, episode three, episode four, episode five, episode six, episode seven ,and episode eight, episode nine. and episode ten. Now, let us continue with that tradition as we award our Most Valuable Players (MVPs) this week.
Here are our Billions awards for Season 4, Episode 11, “Lamster.”
Move over Kenneth Sean Carson, there’s a new Ken Doll in town taking over Barbie’s dream house – I didn’t know I needed a Bobby Axelrod Ken Doll until now. He would come with cashmere hoodies, a leather jacket, several pairs of kicks, paper money and a yellow Lamborghini.
Okay, now for my MVP awards.
Worst Hide-N-Go-Seeker – Chuck Senior. First he’s found by his lady friend during sexy time, then he’s caught by Jock Jeffcoat. Worst lamster, ever.
Best Pop Culture Reference – Whitey Bulger!!! I love this show; always referencing famous crime lords, the mob, or movies about crime families.
Shitty Sports Reference – Bill Belichick. I love football. Those close to me know I don’t care for New York teams and I can’t STAND the Patriots. Belichick coached the Giants, Jets, and Patriots. Boo!!!!!
Cock of the Walk Award – Bobby Axelrod.
That obvious swagger as he moved through the restaurant’s kitchen, swaying and gliding through the workstations… smooth as buttah. And the swagger didn’t stop there. Damian really put on a New York sounding accent and tone in this scene. He was the most “Axey” I’ve seen since the pilot.
Deity Trophy – Axe.
He is, after all, comparing himself to the Egyptian Sun God Ra (aka Re) when he says, “I am the sun that warms you.” I lol’d!!!
Best Metaphor – ‘Heart of the ocean’
Hey Rebecca, who wouldn’t want the blue diamond?? Minus the shipwreck, of course.
The Tête-à-Tête Award – Jock Jeffcoat and Senior for their little phallic chit chat.
Jock asks, “Do you have any idea what it smells like in prison?” Senior quips, “Is it dick? I’m betting dick.” (I am about to lose it at this point, laughing my ass off as I imagine Jeffrey DeMunn at the table read for that!). Then Jock retorts with, “That certainly is one of the notes you will detect. You sir, will have all the time in the world to dig out every subtlety off the back of your tongue…”
Best Friend Award – Mafee gets a lot of grief for being a little dopey sometimes, and I get that. However, this week, when he put Math Man in his place, and stood up for Taylor, he showed his loyalty and his heart. This goes right up there with him giving it to Wendy good!
Smartest Business Move (that doesn’t include revenge) Award– What Rebecca did was good for Saler’s , good for Axe, and good for their relationship. Making sure Taylor still had skin in the game was a way of trying to put an end to Taylor trying to sabotage Saler’s. It wasn’t personal, it was business, which is something her boyfriend doesn’t understand; for him all business is personal. Too bad she has no idea that the grenade being tossed at her will be coming from inside the tent!
Snakiest Snake of Snakes Award: There are a lot of snakes and backstabbers on Billions, but Kate Sacker takes the prize. She is as slippery as snot, her main objective is her own advancement, and will shiv anyone and everyone to get ahead. I’ve despised her from day one, and that ain’t changed. She’s always been annoying AF, and I always root for her downfall!
Ballsiest Move – Wendy Rhoades
I KNEW IT! I said in last week’s recap that while I obviously did not know what Wendy would do at the hearing, if there was one person in Billions who had the balls to admit their wrongdoing and bravely face the consequences, it would be Wendy!
Wendy tells the board she is a medical doctor and Taylor was her patient, and that she violated doctor – patient confidentiality for her own ends. Doing this, Wendy does not only feel good about herself and steals my heart all over again but she also protects the company. Because she is a medical doctor, all her previous sessions with employees count as confidential and she cannot be subpoenaed. LOVE YOU, GIRL! And, yes, in caps, too!
Ultimate Complimenter – Bryan Connerty
When Jeffcoat tells Bryan to catch Chuck Senior’s “wrinkly fuckin’ ass” Bryan’s response is quite a compliment for our naughty lamster and quite a shock for Jeffcoat 😀
“Uh, I saw it once. And, actually, the old guy keeps it together.”
Remember? 😀 Wish Senior could hear Bryan’s words!
Most Vulgar Analogy – Dollar Bill
I mean even Axe, who uses “fuck” at least once in every other sentence, considers washing Bill’s mouth out with soap if he says it again.
“Pimp 101: You don’t sell your best girl till she loses her hip flexion.”
Shocking Hand Gesture (at least for me) – Shocker
I had to look up Wikipedia to find out about the hand gesture apparently also known as “two in the pink, one in the stink.” I mean… the kind of things I learn from this show 😀 😀 😀
Enormous, Humongous, Monstrous Ego – Bobby Axelrod
“I am the sun that warms you and the air you fucking breathe. Don’t forget that.”
Teacher’s Pet Award – Bryan Connerty
I said it before I will say it again. Bryan Connerty has been a HUGE disappointment this season. The U.S. Attorney seat seems to be like that precious ring in Lord of the Rings. Whoever sits on it is obsessed with it and wants to keep it no matter what. Bryan, whom I came to love as a young idealist who always wanted to do the right thing in earlier seasons is now doing whatever his superior asks him to and does not even consider saying no! And now, because the AG thinks the Lord does not put information before us so we can remain ignorant, Bryan will unlock the tape recordings to find out about the mysterious idiot. Boo!