We continue to award our Most Valuable Players for Billions season five in our series compilation, the ‘Billions MVP Fanbook,’ which commemorates all those in honor of achievement for the utmost brazen, uber shameless, ultra scheming, unmatched bad asses to date – from sports references, music and tasty food to pop culture remarks, shocking twists and ultimate paybacks. In case you missed it, here are the MVPs for episode one, episode two, episode three, episode four, episode five, episode six, episode seven and episode eight.
Let us resume that tradition as we award our Most Valuable Players (MVPs) for the most recent episode. Here are the Billions MVP awards for Season 5, Episode 9, “Implosion.”
Best Lines of the Episode – Scooter when he says “I figured out what the Devil cares about…pizza.” And when he tells Prince, “I just start talking and magic comes out.”
Greatest Comeback and Wicked Payback – Wags for setting up a Genio Della Pizza sampling/tasting kiosk at Scooter’s neighborhood grocer. This bites Scooter in the ass when Wags threatens to file an insurance claim against Prince’s company for Axe’s spoiled Margherita pies stuck in the Atlantic Ocean in shipment containers. Look at Uncle Wagsy’s delightful expression. Wags: 1, Tools: 0.
Wags Words of Wisdom – To Axe: “And you’re calling in favors for what? So you can fuck a dead man’s skull? Skull-fuckery is not even fun to watch. Okay, that part is a lie.” Axe just won’t release Prince from his shark jaws, not until he’s dead. And only when Axe says he’s dead. Axe is letting the rage blind him and I don’t have a good feeling about it in the long run.
Ultimate Appetite Killer – Chuck when he said “I made this shit soup and now I have to sip it.” Campbell’s….mmm, mmm, good.
Unique Ex-Girlfriend Term– Chuck when he referred to Cat Brant as “Wendy’s successor.” LOL
Most Screentime Given to an Appliance – The Italian Pizza Oven. Meanwhile, I’m over here with my 1970’s EasyBake.
Brilliant Battleship Detector – Ben Kim. He obviously played Battleship when he was a kid as he informed Wags, “Someone’s fucking around with your boat.” Look at the big brains on Ben, strategizing ocean currents with a Vessel locator app.
Stellar OMG Moment – Axe saving Tanner’s sketch of Wendy in bed. First they make a bed together with clean sheets, now he has a picture of her in bed. The Writer’s Room needs to stop fucking with my head.
Terrific Track – Atomic Punk by Van Halen from their self-titled 1978 album Van Halen.
Wildest Moment – Danny Margolis on the Gurney
Chuck: “Wait a minute. You’re the donor? But you’re Axe’s…”
Danny: “Yes, I am. His museum curator. Heard from a friend your pop was in need. I signed right up. Looking to do all my good deeds for a year right here.”
Chuck: “Sure you are.”
Chuck is truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. He cannot stop a man from donating his kidney to Senior. But he also knows Axe may now own Senior. This is truly truly WILD. I am still laughing!
Peerless Punching Bag – Chuck Rhoades
This is the second time I am giving this award to Chuck. When he had so many punches in the face in Episode 8 Copenhagen I wondered how many more punches he could take. And OMG, in this most Billions-y Billions episode this season Axe has knocked him out so hard that it will be very hard to recover. Well, at least he enjoys pain 🙂
“Axe stymied us as smooth as Bobby Jones, and Senior isn’t our man anymore. Axe delivered my father something that at this moment transcends even my familial bonds. He gave him life. And so he became the son I couldn’t be. He gave him life. My father is owned by him now.”
Greatest Entrance – Taylor Mason
I have been waiting for Taylor’s move for a while now. When they realized that both Axe and Chuck were lined up to get rid of the other in Season 4 Season Finale Extreme Sandbox, Taylor decided to wait until both men get their guns out, and then get out of their way, and let them kill each other. And Axe and Chuck (along with Mike Prince) have just got their guns out. Cannot wait for more and in Taylor I trust!
Most Magnificent Comeback – Chuck Senior
Well, the readers of this blog already know about my not-so-secret crush on Chuck Senior. So I am thrilled about his comeback from this…
….to this in a few seconds when Chuck gives him a chance to be in the game again…
And now, with a pristine quality kidney, courtesy of Mr. Danny Margolis, Chuck Senior is making his real comeback to the game! The billion dollar question remains: Will he be on Team Axe or Team Chuck?
Sneaky Slithery Snake – Bobby Axelrod
Axe is a sneaky, slithery snake! From the moment he saw the drawing of Wendy made by Tanner, Axe has tried everything to ruin their relationship. And the help he offers Wendy in this episode? Saying that he’s glad Tanner has Wendy in his life, someone to ….. BULLSHIT. Axe is there to persuade Wendy that Tanner is not the “mythical incorruptible artist” that she thinks he is! He knew exactly how Tanner will react to Axe’s interference with his cash flow and that it would rub Wendy the wrong way. And now he can keep this drawing forever as a token of his big accomplishment. UGH.
The “Oh No They Better Don’t” Award – Axe holding on to Nico’s sketch of Wendy seems almost stalkerish. I will always not want Axe and Wendy to have a romantic relationship (I know Damianista is with me on this), so please, please, PLEASE don’t let this be the road this storyline is going down!
The “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar” Award – Wendy is kicking men to the curb like Garo Yepremian, and I’m here for it. She finally had enough of the man-child named Tanner, and walked out with her head held high! Wendy is a smart woman, not someone’s “girl”. Here’s hoping we’ve seen the last of Captain Caveman.
Best Dressed Sample Server Award – I’ll happily admit to partaking in the free samples at my local supermarket or at Costco. However, I’ve never seen anyone giving out freebies dressed as snazzy as Wags was at Morton Williams. I’d definitely try a slice from a sharp dressed man!
The “Phanes, Deity of Life” Award – Phanes, in Greek mythology, was the Greek deity of Creation and Life, which is was Axe has given to Chuck Sr., by way of Danny Margolis. I’ve compared Axe to Ares, the God of War, and in my mind will always hold that title. But, for this week, he is the Giver of Life!