We continue to award our Most Valuable Players for Billions season five in our series compilation, the ‘Billions MVP Fanbook,’ which commemorates all those in honor of achievement for the utmost brazen, uber shameless, ultra scheming, unmatched bad asses to date – from sports references, music and tasty food to pop culture remarks, shocking twists and ultimate paybacks. In case you missed it, here are the MVPs for episode one, episode two, episode three, episode four, episode five, episode six and episode seven.
Let us resume that tradition as we award our Most Valuable Players (MVPs) for the mid-season premiere. Here are the Billions MVP awards for Season 5, Episode 8, “Copenhagen”
Resurrection Trophy – Axe gets this for mentioning Lara’s name while hanging out at their summer house. I know I am one of the few who wish Lara was still on the show. Bobby is better, more grounded, with Lara IMO and I prefer a married Axe opposed to a single Axe.
Unrivaled Retoxer and Research Award – Wags. Only a reprobate henchman could complete 18-hours of research via debauchery under the guise of a smorgasbord of shit like wining, dining, drugging, grooming, levering and horse trading to obtain intel on an adversary. You can always count on Wags for that consistent dividend.
The Craptastic Award – Dollar Bill Stearn. Leave it to Dolla to inform everyone what he reads as he defecates. I wonder if his toilet paper is dollar bills? Nah, too expensive to wipe his ass with hundies, even if they are fake.
Cold Hearted Killer 2.0 Award – Wendy. The liquid silver running through her veins has cooled a bit for her to use the endearing term “Dad” when referring to her soon to be ex father-in-law Charles Senior. WHAT? But she still agrees to kill him, I mean, terminate his life.
Pomp and Stance Medal– Prince. I mean, come on! This picture says it all. I gave him a medal instead of a trophy or plaque award because I wanted the gold to match his buttons. This jacket is very “turn-coaty,” wouldn’t you agree?
Peerless Punching Bag – Chuck Rhoades
Chuck got so many punches left and right in this episode that I have almost felt for him 🙂
He had to resign his position at Yale.
The moment he thought he got the kidney for his dad, he was told by Dr. Gilbert that no kidney in the prison is going his way, and that organ failure is beastly. Yikes! Well, Chuck you reap what you sow.
He found out that his dad did trust not him but his ex daughter in law to be his health proxy.
He gave Bobby Axelrod his bank charter!!!
But, who knows, maybe he enjoys the punches 😀 😀 😀
Deeply Dedicated Daughter – Wendy Rhoades.
What a difference a smoke signal makes!
“You’ll always be my daughter.”
Wendy agrees to be Chuck Senior’s health proxy, addresses him as dad (who knew?) and, despite the legal problems she faced in the previous season, she does a search through Axe Cap employees’ medical records to find a match for Senior.
The billion dollar question remains: Is there a match? 🙂
Fastest Disappearing Smile – Mike ‘Thomas Aquinas’ Prince’s disappearing smile
And just like that, Mr. Mike Thomas Aquinas Prince goes from Mr. Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to just another cruel billionaire. I am still LAUGHING.
I knew it! Wags is spot on that there is no clean path to a 11-digit fortune. And it turns out Prince’s path to his fortune is as dark as that of Axe.
Finally Fulfilled Fantasy – Damianista
Yes, I am giving this prestigious MVP award to myself! 😀 I always wanted to eat with Billions characters and here we go… Chuck, Ira and I are having falafel from Mamoun’s and talking about Chuck’s relationship problems 🙂 Ira is right. Mamoun’s falafel is as clean but also as yummy as they make in the Holy Land.
Most Valuable Minion – Dollar Bill
He may have underperformed this season but he definitely proved how valuable an asset he is to Axe Capital in this episode. He scored not once but twice.
- Bill, by sending the picture of 20 year old Chuck burning ballots in a bathtub on Yale campus to Merle Howard, kicked off a chain of events that ultimately led to Chuck ‘s resignation from his teaching position at Yale Law.
- Bill remembered a Fortune article about how Mike Prince made his fortune, dug deep enough and found the torpedo to destroy Prince’s public reputation. Ahh the benefits of reading on the crapper 🙂
I am not uncertain no algo can do what Dollar Bill does for Axe Capital!
Best Movie Reference – Tin Cup
Wendy’s reference to the very underrated, great movie Tin Cup brings back sweet memories! Tin Cup is the first movie I saw at a movie theater when I moved to the US 25 years ago with two luggages and big dreams! And yes, Wendy, Axe is not Don Johnson, he is Roy “Tin Cup” McAvoy himself.
I have to note – this is the fourth reference to a Kevin Costner movie (the previous ones being Dances with Wolves, Field of Dreams, and The Untouchables). Long-time readers of this blog know that there was Kevin Costner way before Damian Lewis!
BFF Award – It certainly has to go to Ira this week. Even after everything Chuck has done to him, he was still willing to dig like Indiana Jones to try and save his bud. He is a true and loyal friend!
The “Say You’re a Dork Without Saying You’re a Dork” Award – From paying $3,200 for a doodle, to thinking it would be cool to spatter paint on a Gucci jacket, I don’t think there would be anyone but Tuk to be the esteemed winner of this award!
Best Revenge Served Cold (with a La Croix Chaser) – Well, hello Dr. Gilbert! Nice to see you! And really nice to see you sticking it to Chuck! Bravo!
Best Jewelry – I know this is a superficial category, but the earrings Wendy was wearing while at her tête-à-tête with Chuck Sr. was chef’s kiss!
Best New Artist To Listen To – Jason Isbell. I had never heard of him before. I don’t listen to much new music these days. But I loved his guitar playing and his voice, and he actually did ok in the scene he had with Tanner and Wendy, so I think I need to give him a listen to.
Best Terminator Reference – Wendy – “liquid silver running through her veins” – I love when they throw subtle references to movies from my younger days. Seeing as how Koppelman and I are about the same age, I would expect more of these. 🙂
Thank Heavens They Aren’t Totally Useless – In rewatching episodes 1-7 I was lamenting how financially castrated the traders of Axe Cap had become. They used to be notorious for making big scores – sometimes legitimately, sometimes less so. But throughout season 7 only Axe or maybe Taylor was doing anything of value to their companies. So for Dollar Bill to take down Chuck, and then he and Victor used their whiles to back door Bobby’s getting the bank charter – that was smooth. And best of all, I didn’t see that coming. In fact, it still puzzles me somewhat – I may need Lady Trader to explain what exactly went down there that enabled Bobby to get that charter.
Rough Week, Part 1 -Wags. He got a serious dressing down from Bobby after their plan to blackmail Scooter backfired. Wags hasn’t had the greatest season here. He needs a win just as much as Dollar Bill did.
Rough Week, Part 2 – Chuck – has anyone had a rougher week? Damn that was brutal – but I like how he didn’t give in to temptation and used the dirt Ira found for him – so in a sense he won the week, although it would be hard to see that just based on what he had to endure.