Fiction Friday is here again and what better subject than Bobby Axelrod?

**Disclaimer: Billions and its characters belong to Showtime. Not us. There is no profit or copy right infringement intended and absolutely no intention of saying that anyone from Billions stole our ideas in the unlikely event we accidently write something that comes to fruition.  

A look inside the mind of a younger Bobby Axelrod stepping on to his road.

The buzzing of chatter in his ear is threatening to make him explode. His mother’s attempts to placate him and his father’s scornful derision. Neither are proving any easier to stand than the lackadaisical attitude of his friends whom he had abandoned a couple of hours ago in disgust.

He stands up abruptly, pushing his chair back and interrupting the all too familiar argument brewing between his parents about why he needed to go to further education anyway. His father’s attitude is worse than his friends.

He is through the front door and down the street with only his mother’s shouts of “Robert” out of the window drawing the slightest reaction from him. Must she insist on it? No one else calls him Robert, not for a long time. He ignores her anyway, simply cannot bear the pity and the needlessly over enthusiastic encouragement about how Hofstra is a good place to study. As if he doesn’t already know it, as if he would be ashamed of attending Hofstra. He honestly couldn’t work out if her misjudgement of his feelings is worse than his father’s complete lack of care for them at all.

He walks without knowing where he is going, letting his feet make the decision for him. He needs to find somewhere quiet, somewhere he can process and take stock of the situation. Get his organised mind which is under attack back under his own control. He suddenly finds himself standing at Central park. Apparently he needs to get his feet under control too as Central Park isn’t generally quiet on a hot summer’s day. Nonetheless he enters and searches for a quitter spot until he finds one under a tree with the added benefit of protecting his pale complexion from the harsh glare of the sun. Bobby leans back against the bark, currently acting the part of a strong backbone for him, and closes his eyes willing himself to calm down and think. To let every thought flow through his mind until he can make sense of it.

Numbers had always made sense to him in a way that people did not. Numbers had comforted him through the first harsh discoveries that some people cared what colour your blood was. He was good with numbers and he found that no matter what he could get the numbers to add up. Until now, that is. Because now the numbers did not add up and there seemed to be damn little he could do about it this time.

He couldn’t talk about it to his mother who would, perhaps with some justification, reproach him for being childish and egocentric. The likelihood is that he would have chosen Hofstra anyway, but for him that is not the point. The point is he should have been able to choose for himself. There should always be choices. Rejection, his mother would say is a part of life and you have to overcome it. He would prefer to kick the ass out of it when he comes back around at it when it least expects it.

He knows he is good enough and the thought that who he is or rather who he isn’t being the reason why he is not getting the choice is eating at him. His mother would call that arrogance and assumption, but he knows he is good enough. Numbers make more sense to him than people do at times. His mother says you won’t get anywhere if you don’t or won’t try to understand people. This is usually directed at him and his father when they get into an argument, as she sees no reason why they cannot even attempt to see the other’s point of view and why she constantly has to be stuck in the middle. It usually ends with her telling them they are each as hard headed as the other. It is the only insult she has which will work on him and she knows it. He resents any suggestion he is like his father. His father couldn’t count the days of the week. As far as Bobby is concerned, he will do the numbers and someone else can deal with the people.

For now, he’s hit a roadblock, but he’ll find a way around it and he’ll come out ahead of those who sneaked in before the roadblock was put in place.

2 thoughts on “Formulation”

  1. I just love this! I am always very curious about the backstory on characters in my favorite shows but the shows often do not have the time to go back and explore the past of the characters in a detailed way – we sometimes see bits and pieces which we need to live with and imagine ourselves. And we see that with Axe, too, in Billions, but I crave for more, and fan fiction always saves the day! Thank you for this wonderful story. I feel that you are getting into young Bobby’s mind so easily and seamlessly because you have observed him and thought about his motivations carefully for some time that you have now sort of figured out HIM as a human being. Congratulations!

    I love it that it’s only his mom that calls him Robert. And I am curious which colleges his friends have ended up going. In particular, Freddie!

  2. Backstory is absolutely my favourite as well which is why I would love a flashback episode on Billions not only for Team Axe, but Team Chuck too.

    I am glad you liked it and thank you.

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