Billions is back and so is our MVP series! We continue to award our Most Valuable Players for Billions season seven in our series compilation, the ‘Billions MVP Fanbook,’ which commemorates all those in honor of achievement for the utmost brazen, uber shameless, ultra scheming, unmatched bad asses from the episode – from sports references, music and tasty food to pop culture remarks, shocking twists and ultimate paybacks. In case you missed it, here are the MVPs of the season seven premiere Tower of London.
Now let’s dive in. Here are the Billions MVP awards for Season 7, Episode 2, “Original Sin.”
Samantha Jones’ Playbook Move – Award goes to Prince and Andy, but moreso Andy. Their unconventional and open marriage arrangement is a concern for Prince’s campaign manager/political consultant Bradford Luke, who asks each of them to make a list of their sexual partners for the past five years. The look on their faces trying to remember is straight out of Sex and the City! They may as well just started counting on their fingers and toes like preschoolers. LOL But the icing on the cake is that it took Andy longer to make her list than Prince 😉 Daggers are better than bone saws, Prince!
Uber Downton Abbey-Esque – Castle Axelrod, home of Axe Global, is located in the English countryside where we see Axe’s mini-me Gordie Axelrod heading up daddy’s new block chain division. Mr. Carson and Lady Mary would be flabbergasted by all the Bloombergs!
I love seeing Gordie back. One of my fantasies was for days of old characters to make brief appearances in the final season, and we’re getting just that, and more!
Greatest Easter Egg – Jock Jeffcoat has a copy of Stephen King’s Different Seasons in his prison cell, which contains the novella The Shawshank Redemption. Clancy Brown played the prison guard captain Byron Hadley in that movie.
Supreme Spyros – Mr. Wet Nurse Spyros gets the Uber Shameless Milk Maid Award because he offered his teat to be suckled by Dollar Bill – “Drink up, sweet baby boy.” Gross!
Mary Katherine Gallagher Award – All you SNL fans out there know what I’m referring to! Jock Jeffcoat gets the MKG sniff award for smelling his new leather cowboy boots like they were 80’s cocaine!
Slim Shady Award – And the winner is, Bradford Luke! He asked Prince to describe for him the moment he would enter the Oval Office and sit behind that resolute desk. Prince feigns he’d never once conjured that image and Luke calls bullshit: “Every single one of you rolls that first moment around in your brains like Marshall Mathers imagined the first time he’d have an audience with Dre.” Even Scooter chuckled under his breath.
Melanie Trump Vibes – Award goes to Andy! Just like media outlets, reviews and recaps have been touting that Prince brings Trump vibes to this season of Billions, his counterpart Andy dressed in a noticeably similar powder baby blue dress like Melania did at Trump’s coronation ceremony.
Best Cinematography – Axe pondering on his castle grounds.
Honorable Mention – Dollar Bill for mentioning a blast from the past…Spartan-Ives!
Wisest Words of Wisdom – Chuck Senior
“It’s indecent to call a man in his home after 9pm.”
I am still giggling! Chuck Senior has the best lines and Jeffrey De Munn steals every scene he is in.
“Leo McGarry” Walk-in Privileges Award – Bradford Luke
Prince’s new campaign manager scores an award as soon as he arrives in the show. When Prince is surprised to see Bradford Luke enter his office unannounced, Luke explains:
“Walk with a true sense of purpose, no one ever stops you.”
Truth. I use this strategy every time I enter a cafe or a restaurant in the city with the sole purpose of using the restroom!
Best Grandson – Victor Mateo
He may be the shadiest of all in business but I give it to him that Victor is the best grandson. After he holds the Korlera position and successfully eradicates the problem, Victor takes the rest of the day off to go visit his grandparents in Buffalo and take them to a real doctor!
Fucking Badass Motivator – Philip Charyn
Once they hire Dollar Bill, Philip knows how to motivate the man. He works behind the scenes with Ben Kim to have Dollar Bill kiss and make up with Mafee so they can work together and make tons of money. He also cheats to win a round of liar’s poker and steals Bill’s heart. And promising Bill to send Spyros off for his Continuing Education studies whenever he needs compliance away is the cherry on top!
The Charlie Crews Award: A “zen” Axe? An Axe not bent on revenge and fueled by anger? I don’t buy it, and if you watched “Life” you know that Charlie Crews was zen, until he wasn’t!
The “Mall Glamour Shots” Award: Everyone has photos of their family in their homes. However, those obscenely large pictures of Prince’s daughters was way over the top. They were totally giving mall Glamour Shots from the 1980s!
The “Now That is How You Eat a Steak” Award: Having a steak at Peter Luger’s is fab; having it as rare as Chuck had it is simply divine. I want my meat so rare it was able to walk to the plate! Chef’s kiss!
The “Chip Off the Old Block” Award: Gordie Axelrod trading crypto like a boss! Looks like Axe got another one to give up their higher education in order to pursue making money!
The “The 90’s Called, They Want Their Spin Doctor Back” Award: Bradford Luke names drops his boss ” The Ragin’ Cajun” and it brings back all the 90’s feels! James Carville was the architect of Bill Clinton’s 1992 Presidential Campaign, and is said to have coined the phrase “It’s the economy, stupid!”. Suddenly I feel like I want to listen to Nirvana as I watch Batman Returns as I power up my Windows 3.1 desktop! When Prince calls Carville’s boss a “megalomaniac” I’m shocked. One because maybe Prince should look in the mirror when he’s looking for a megalomaniac” and two because I have never heard anyone call Mr. “I Feel Your Pain” that before!
Best Digs: Bobby “The King” Axelrod
A castle? A CASTLE? I guess it is good to be king.
Best Team Effort: Wags, Taylor and Wendy
Despite their best efforts to “get the band back together,” no one could convince Han to actually save the day. But we saw that happen in Star Wars, too….could he still be swooping in to clear the way for Luke to destroy the Deathstar? I guess only time will tell….
The Apple With The Closest Proximity To The Tree: Gordie
Seeing Axe’s once sweet but mischievous (and most definitely spoiled) kiddo sitting behind a desk, cursing out people and making deals? It felt weird but…fitting. It makes me think that his brother might pivot and turn out the other way. And what does his mother think of this? I cannot imagine she approves of this. But something tells me this chip off the ol’ block can’t hear anyone’s criticisms over the sounds of making money.
Biggest Win: Chuck
A pair of cowboy boots, some clever maneuvering, a couple of TV producers hungry for a story, and Chuck finds himself back where it all started. What will he do this time that he didn’t do last time? Will his hubris get him again? Or are these Billionaires all going down?
Most Season One Like Moves: Victor
Victor’s blackmail move against the Korlera doctor made me feel like we were right back in season one! Digging up dirt, pushing people around, manipulating the market….now that’s some classic Axe Cap behavior. It was shocking and delightful to see those old tricks all over again. Mike better be careful letting people like Viktor off leash. Things could get dirty really fast.
Inflated Ego Award – Last week Chuck lost out to Prince and his “Anvils not Hammers” line, but this week Chuck has it all too himself by calling the NY AG job ‘Bush League’ – he didn’t think it was bush league when he had it. He is getting on my nerves this year with his overblown sense of himself. He wasn’t always this way. And with Bobby showing some sense of reflection? Holy role reversal batman!!
Spyros is Back Award – Now those were the types of lines we expect from our cringe-inducing coffee afficianado – trying to quote the Boss (he will still never be a Wilbury no matter how hard he tries) and the “Drink up” line? Pure Spyros gold – with a perfect reaction from Bill to boot. We need more of that!
Coming Around Award – to Tuck – he showed some brass ones standing up to Bill, even if he did get all lame recalling his botched prom – but he is finally showing himself to have some substance – just in time for the series to end?
Worst/Best Song Reference – “Free As a Bird” – if he’s quoting Lynard Skynard, then we’re fine. But Bobby said this in England, home of the Beatles, and they came out with a song of this title as one of a two-song release in 1995 (along with “Real Love”), and all I can say about that song, maybe they should have just let it be?
Did the Writers Goof in the Liar’s Poker? For the winning play, Philip said he has six 8’s, but then when Bill takes the dollar he says he can’t believe it has five 8’s. Did someone mess up there, and if so, how did it escape the editors? Or did I miss something there?