The Day Brody died… :(


I know I said earlier here that when I found out about Damian Lewis cast as Henry VIII in Wolf Hall I thought about calling Alex Gansa to thank him for killing off Brody… But it was an impulsive reaction just because I was psyched about that fantastic casting! Otherwise, I am still at the same place more than a year later.

I dreaded that day coming for months. Because, I knew it… I didn’t really know it, but I saw it coming, and I told everybody but nobody believed me! My friends said: “Oh, no, they will never kill Brody!” And, in particular, my husband said: “They will never kill the chicken that lays the golden egg. It would be very stupid.” And my lovely friend promised me: “If they kill Brody, we will make a video clip as a tribute.” And, as the critics rolled the drums louder and louder saying Brody should have been dead long ago, we just repeated the conversations above!

By now, it seems everyone in this world, including Damian Lewis himself, who saw and laughed at my iPhone cover….

source: Damianista
source: Damianista

…knows about me and Brody! He was my favorite fictional character ever… and I miss him. But yeah…  let’s go back to that very dark day.

December 14, 2013: The day before the season III finale. Me, being me, I am on the internet surfing desperately to find some clue that would tell me that, no, Brody will make it alive out of Iran. And, I find out that the season finale leaked to the internet. Oh My God! I look at some forums, and there I see it… people openly talking about that horrific scene that I have still NOT seen to this day… My heart is BROKEN a day before it is supposed to be. 

December 15, 2013: We always make Homeland evenings special at home. My husband cooks a yummy three-course menu for our special TV night, and I am always a good eater. The evening Brody died goes into history as the only evening in long years of marriage and many TV nights that I skip the second serving of my favorite pasta and skip dessert altogether.

We start with Episode 11 which ends with the great lines “Brody, what did you do?” “Carrie, I killed him. Get me out of here.” so that I could just re-live some glorious Brody moments before I say good-bye to him.


Then the season finale is finally on the screen… I suddenly remember a moment from 1980s… my mom and I are watching Love Story with Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal, it’s my first time and her Nth time, and she starts crying the minute the movie starts, and I laugh at her. I guess that laugh is now coming back to haunt me years later on the evening Brody dies… Because I start crying the minute the last episode starts… as Brody gets himself out of the building, and meets Carrie, they are on their way to the safe house… Nothing bad is happening, and I am crying… Mom, I understand you now.

Then I cry a bit harder during the safe house scene. That scene was powerful in the sense that Brody and Carrie are having an adult conversation like a normal couple in their living room. It gets me… I really want them to be together, and be happy… Yes, yes, I know, I know, “it’s not a love story, it’s a CIA show” mom, but I can’t help it, I love the love story in the CIA show…


Then I completely lose it during the following conversation.

Brody: “Carrie. It’s over.”

Carrie: “No.”

Brody: “Yeah. Not even the almighty Saul can stop it now.”

Carrie: “No, you don’t know that.”

Brody: “You’re wasting your time. Holding on to false hopes won’t help anyone. I want it to be over.”

Brody: “I have to say good-bye now.”

Carrie: “Brody… Brody… Can you stay here just for a few more seconds?”

Brody: [Heavy breathing and hangs up the phone…]

When the guards bring Brody to the noose, I run to the bathroom… and do not come back until my husband calls me: “It is over. You can come.” So, there is a few minutes of Homeland that I have not seen and I will never see. Ever.

My husband tells me I cried more than Carrie, and tells everyone else how I skipped my second serving of pasta and my dessert! I am the joke of the year, but who cares?

Wow, it’s been over a year already… And, what did I do to cope in the last year?

Almost a week after Brody died, I sat down and wrote an essay to get the grief out of my system. I will share it with you one day. It’s pretty raw and emotional. Bad news is that I am not more than an inch away from where I was a year ago…

And, remember that lovely friend of mine who promised that we would make a Brody clip together as a tribute? We did that in February! I am really proud of how it turned out in terms of music and scenes that I would love everyone to see it! And we have the “Brody… Brody… Can you stay here just for a few more seconds?” as the last scene… that it gets me… every single time. So… can you stay here for a few more seconds and watch our love letter to our favorite star-crossed lovers?

What else did I do this past year? Oh yeah, I met Damian Lewis. Hearing that I was boycotting Homeland because Brody died, he told me he could have a surprise for me later on down the line… And, he did! I will write about the “surprise” that almost made a lot of us believe “Brody is back!” next week…

Author: Damianista

Academic, Traveler, Blogger, Runner, Theatre Lover, Wine Snob, Part-time New Yorker, and Walking Damian Lewis Encyclopedia :D Procrastinated about a fan's diary on Damian Lewis for a while and the rest is history!

9 thoughts on “The Day Brody died… :(”

  1. I’m with you Damianista, I will never, ever, watch season 4 and beyond. I was a late comer to Homeland, I just watched the first three series on Netflix, one ep after another. Brody died tonight and that was the end for me too. I have zero interest in continuing my relationship with Homeland, finished.

    1. Many thanks for visiting and reading, Rachel!!! Oh I am so sorry, because I vividly remember the day he died… I was simply furious the day, the week, the month he died… I just could not deal with it. In fact, I sat down and wrote this first: A long, raw, emotional piece trying to deal with what just happened… I admit Brody made me a Damian Lewis fan for life and a blogger, too!!! A year and a half later, I have still not recovered, but I am extremely excited about Billions, Damian Lewis’ new drama coming to Showtime in January! I am hoping Bobby Axelrod (his new character) will come along and ease the pain. In case you want to find more about Bobby, you can see our tag “Bobby Axelrod” or “Billions.” And I will carry Brody in my heart forever – MY ONE BIG FICTIONAL LOVE! <3

  2. I was just watching, again, the season 3 in the end, my heart almost stopped, and at the time of death, I cried, cried,!

    What interpretation!

    The eyes of Brody, when he seeks Carry, in the crowd, when he hears screaming Brody, Brody! And his gaze when he sees her, before he die! Damian is wonderful! And I cried even more!

    1. Monique, it seems you will make me watch that scene! Brody seeking Carrie in the crowd? OMG! So the last thing he sees before he goes is the woman he loves. OMG. I don’t know if I will ever watch that but I know I will always carry Brody in my heart! <3

  3. I often need to watch damian at the tv, and I almost always choose the same movies, BOB, LIFE, Homeland and Keane!
    But when I look at Homeland, it’s too hard to watch Brody die! “This death is tragic, and damian interprets so well this man who is going to die, who dies, that it is unbearable I detest Alex Gansas for having taken This decision, and I have never watched other episodes !! Homeland without Brody, you’re joking, there’s no Homeland left for me!
    Damian is a man, intelligent, unwilling, Muslim and terrorist association and he was so right! My husband is Muslim and non-practicing he is the kindest man in the world, And he hates violence and what is happening right now in the world!
    Moreover he admires Damian as man, actor, and soccer player !!!!!!

    1. Ha! To this day, Monique, I still have not watched that horrific scene – there is no power in the world that can make me watch it. I refuse to do it 🙂
      I am not practicing but I am also coming from a Muslim background. I grew up in Turkey. I completely understand your feelings about how Muslims are generally portrayed but we are luck to have Damian who was very sensitive about the portrayal of Brody as a Muslim man in Homeland.

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