It’s all about Brody: Damianista’s Fan Story

source: Damianista

We can’t be more thrilled about having kicked off our Fan Stories Series last week with Lady Trader’s lovely story. The response to our call has been amazing and all stories we have received are personal, special and extremely heartfelt. So please stay with us and enjoy  a long-running fan stories party on the blog and in case you are still interested in sending us your story but have not done so yet, please do, we would love to have you on board!

Today it’s my fan story bits and pieces of which you may have already read earlier but it has been fun to bring it all together in a single post. Besides, the timing is perfect because this week marks the fourth anniversary of me getting out of the closet about my new screen crush with the following Facebook post just a day after my birthday! 😀


As I am a year older today and not wiser in any way, I feel the urge to acknowledge the end of an era, an important one, in my life… Well, after some careful self-deliberation, I’ve finally come to resolve my stormy celebrity crush life. It’s now time to make it official for all interested parties!

Dear Kevin, Costner that is, it’s been a great ride for the last 20+ years since Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and of course, the Bodyguard. But last time I checked you were playing Superman’s dad… it’s a bit too much… and not just that… you know, that red-haired Brit came along so unexpectedly and turned things upside down. I’m really sorry but it’s over between us.

My friends were truly stunned with their comments varying from “I never thought this would happen” (ANSWER: Me, either!) to “I am claiming Kevin Costner now that you are releasing him” (ANSWER: He’s all yours, hun!) to “Wow, congratulations, Damian!” (ANSWER: Yes, I’m sure, he’s so proud :D) to “Man, these two awfully look alike, Damian can play Kevin’s son.” (ANSWER: Really? I now feel bad for Kevin, let’s make him the older brother.)


So… what happened?

I vividly remember the evening we met. I was in my living room. He was on TV. And the first words I said to him were not kind. I was watching the Primetime Emmy Awards and rooting for Jon Hamm (Don Draper, anyone?) to win the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series.

source: You Tube

Me: “Come on, Jon, come on!”

Julianna Marguiles: “…and the Emmy goes to… Damian Lewis!”

Me: “Who the hell is Damian Lewis?”

Damian Lewis came on stage to receive his Emmy. And, in contrast to most people, the first thing I learnt about him was he was, in his own words, “one of those pesky Brits.” 😀

It was not love at first sight but I was intrigued. I LOVED it that he asked for a round of applause for his fellow nominees. Kind. I LOVED it that he thanked the “leading lady” in his life in a way that you felt he meant every word. Happily married. And I LOVED it that his kids thought he was nominated for an Emma 😀 Family man. He seemed to be a decent guy. This Damian Lewis.

We love good TV in my household but we have busy schedules so we are quite picky about what to binge and usually go with shows “approved” with awards. So now that Homeland swept the Emmy Awards, we knew what to binge next and we also found out they were filming in Charlotte, North Carolina, two and a half hours from our house. It was our local TV show for God’s sake!

To tell you the truth, I heard about Homeland before the Emmy buzz but I was not very interested. I even remember seeing the series poster and saying to myself: “I like Claire Danes but who is that guy in the uniform?” Oh yes, I did say that and left it there.

source: Showtime

The main reason for my apathy was that I knew Homeland was being made by the guys that made 24, a show that I saw in its entirety and actually enjoyed; but honestly, I did not want to see another 24. I had been there, I had done that.

Man, was I wrong!

Homeland turned out to be quite different from 24 in its approach to issues like national security and terrorism. It had the right dose of ambiguity to portray a much more grayer picture of the world accompanied with the thriller aspect that kept you at the edge of your seat all the time.

But my infatuation with Brody was not instant. He grew on me. I was intrigued by Brody and Carrie in the rain but then I was scandalized by the car sex before the polygraph test. They ultimately stole my heart with The Weekend.

“I just want to live here for a second.”

I melted. Yes, as my mom loves to constantly remind me, Homeland is not a love story, but I could not help fall in love with the possibility of impossible love that Brody and Carrie found in each other.

When we were done with Season 1, we were addicted and needed to see Season 2 right away. Alas, it was only available on Showtime and we did not even have cable! Me being me, I did research online and found this website in Australia selling Homeland Season 2 DVD. Guess what? What we received in the mail a few weeks later was a very professionally packaged HD recording from Showtime mailed from China! 😀 While what they do is obviously not lawful, I am still grateful to them for providing me with Season 2 DVD and feeding my addiction just right! And as a tribute to my infamous Season 2 DVD, I give you the back cover. Let me know if you can make any sense of the storyline 😀

If it was The Weekend that sealed the deal for me about Brody, it was Q&A that sealed the deal about Damian Lewis. The interrogation scene. I had never seen an actor being able to say all there is to say in silence. My jaw dropped. WOW.

Let me put it in Carrie’s words:

“That’s the Brody I fell in love with.”

source: Showtime

And I started finding myself googling Damian Lewis. Like every day. But there was a little problem: Kevin. Kevin Costner who had been my huge screen crush for 20+ years. Believe me, if you ask me to describe myself with one adjective, I’d say “loyal.” I am LOYAL. I have always been loyal to my family, my friends, my teams, my TV shows, and in particular to my screen crushes. I have always been monogamous there. So, there came the agony. I pondered this over and over and over…  and finally decided to take the ultimate test!

The test was to sit down and watch The Bodyguard! I LOVED the movie in college, watched it 8 times in the movie theater, and so many more times on VHS and then on DVD over the years. Yes, I know, it is not a great movie, but it was MY movie. So, I sat down and watched The Bodyguard. And… I did not feel anything even when Rachel Marron (Whitney Houston’s character) ran to Frank Farmer’s (Kevin Costner’s character) arms at the end.

source: pinterest

I now had to admit it to myself. It was the end of an era!

The agony ended on a cold January night, on my birthday actually, when I came out to my husband.

Me: “Ok. I am coming out of the closet. I am so over with Kevin. Damian Lewis is my new screen crush.”

Lewisto: “Wow, I never thought this day would come. “

He still calls Kevin “your ex.”

Then, of course, I had my friends who had bore with me about Kevin all those years – especially the ones whom I dragged to the movie theater with me to see his LONG movies (I don’t think Kevin ever made movies under 2 and a half hours in 1990s!) that I had to come out to. So I made the Facebook announcement I started this post with 😀

Fast forward to Homeland Season 3 Finale.

I dreaded that day coming for months. I knew it… I didn’t really know it, but I saw it coming, and I told everybody but nobody believed me! My friends said: “Oh, no, they will never kill Brody!” And, in particular, Lewisto said: “They will never kill the chicken that lays the golden egg. It would be very stupid.” While the critics rolled the drums louder and louder that Brody should have been gone long ago, we just repeated the conversations above until… the darkest TV moment finally arrived!

Brody: “Carrie, it’s over.”

I was crying already. When the guards brought Brody to the noose, I ran to the bathroom and did not come back until that horrific scene was over. There still exists a few minutes of Homeland I have not seen and will never see.

I LOVED Nicholas Brody. He is, by far, my all-time favorite fictional character. A character that could get close in terms of the love I have for is Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities. Now that I am thinking about it, it is quite incredible both characters meet their ends in similarly heart-breaking circumstances and Brody’s last thoughts could well be very similar to Carton’s last words: “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

Brody needed redemption. I needed closure. So I sat down and wrote a pretty raw and emotional piece titled Lamenting Nicholas Brody just to get it out of my chest. A lovely friend of mine and I made a tribute video for Brody. I watched Band of Brothers, The Forsyte Saga, Colditz, Life, Brides, Keane, The Baker and other work and probably read all the interviews Damian Lewis gave in the last decade that were available online. I visited Brody’s house in Charlotte.

source: damianista

And, oh yeah, I flew all the way to the UK for Cheltenham Literature Festival to see the actor who is to blame for all the craziness I found myself in read wonderful love poems with his beautiful and talented wife and got to meet him, too 😀

source: daminiasta

While the closure I was looking for never came, I slowly but surely became a walking Damian Lewis encyclopedia. And, at some point, it just came to me: What if I started a blog about Damian Lewis and his wonderful work and shared it with my fellow fans?

And the rest is history!

If someone had told me, say, 10 years ago, I would start a fan blog, I would laugh. LOUDLY. Not because I did not know Damian Lewis back then, and I did not, but I would not start a fan blog for anyone for the life of me since I would not be able deal with the tease I would receive in case my circles found about it: “She has an academic career, and she is married, and what is this nonsense about being a fan?” Yes, I am a professor, and yes, I am married, and very happily so. But I am also a fan. And when I am a fan, I cannot help being a super fan. But, you know, we sometimes need to act different than who we really are so we are “accepted” and I admit I did it for years. And I was good at it, too, until Nicholas Brody came along unexpectedly and turned everything upside down. And this newfound love, I believe, coupled with turning 40 and craving for a “second act” in life made the impossible possible. I decided to pursue a dream that turned into one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had thanks to my brilliant partners, wonderful fellow fans and Damian’s kindness. I feel very lucky.

Author: Damianista

Academic, Traveler, Blogger, Runner, Theatre Lover, Wine Snob, Part-time New Yorker, and Walking Damian Lewis Encyclopedia :D Procrastinated about a fan's diary on Damian Lewis for a while and the rest is history!

29 thoughts on “It’s all about Brody: Damianista’s Fan Story”

  1. Ah…h Sweet! Thanks for sharing Damianista. I think it is great that your story can certainly be called “love at first sight”… or at least almost. By the time Damian got that Emmy I had seen him, as he has said, “clap someone else up on the stage” several times. So when his name was announced for that Emmy, I could scarcely believe it. Did you ever see the brief interviews of him and of the cast of Band of Brothers after the 2002 Emmy awards? They may not be on YouTube anymore. He was bearded then, I assumed for the filming of Dreamcatcher….and he looked so young! We are so fortunate that you were so smitten as to start this blog, I can’t imagine how we fans could do without it now. Please keep up the good work.

    1. Thank you so much, Connie, for your very kind words! I am completely genuine when I say this has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and and we will keep doing it 🙂 You are right it is almost “love at first sight” with Damian himself because I found out about his kindness first – a quality that I admire the most in my relationships. I did not see the brief interviews after 2002 Emmys but I will look for them. I only know that he lost his mom that year and he was nominated for the best actor Golden Globe and wanted to win and dedicate it to his mom. He did it, finally, with Homeland, 10 years later. I remember loving his Golden Globe speech — given that we started watching Homeland just after the Emmys I was totally sold on Damian by the Golden Globes and not supporting Jon Hamm anymore hehe.

  2. A brilliant story; I laughed along as I read so much I can relate to! The ginger wonder certainly has a habit of “turning everything upside down” when he arrives… and man am I jealous you’ve met him! Wish I’d had your foresight with Homeland though; I didn’t see it coming, was adamant they wouldn’t do it, watched THAT scene in horror, holding my breath, and still believed he’d been drugged to make it look real & he would come back… when I realised what had happened my love affair with Homeland was over. I never watched another episode & don’t own that season on dvd; 1 & 2 will do me fine…

    1. Thank you, Vicky!!! You are so special for this blog – IDK if you know it but you are one of the very first, if not the first, people I met on Facebook when I first started the blog. And we started to talk and you told me how you became a fan and I never forgot that story and I am so looking forward to publishing it soon!!! <3
      Oh yeah the ginger wonder does not have the slightest idea of what he did!!!! 🙂

      Confession: I still watch Homeland. It's not the same because I still miss Brody but I feel his ghost at times probably because he goes on living through his daughter. But the main reason I stick to Homeland is that I think we need more female leads in TV shows and I watch in support of Carrie Mathison as the strongest female lead on TV. And I am completely with you that Season 1 and 2 DVDs do me fine, too!

  3. WHAT chance you have !! First of all, you met Damian, talked to him, and, great thing, you went to Brody’s house, it’s all wonderful, I’m not jealous of you, you’re too nice, but I envy you!
    Thank you for telling us all!monique

    1. Thank you so much, Monique! Brody’s house is only two and a half hours away from where we live and I still can’t believe we did not even try and catch them on set during Season 3 shoot. But we just thought they would shooti there forever and we forgot every good thing comes to an end. But Billions has arrived making all my dreams come true. If it was not for Billions, it would be difficult for me to let Damian know about the blog. Now that I am thinking about it, the guy is filming TV shows always in my vicinity – North Carolina and New York, my two homes! Yes, I am very lucky! <3 And I am so looking forward to publishing your fan story. Big hugs <3

  4. Even though I know this story, it seems to get better every time I read it! I feel everything you felt about Brody in Homeland. I love how your Mom tells you it’s not a love story! I know we tell ourselves that, but boy, the chemistry between Carrie and Brody is probably the best star crossed lovers since Romeo and Juliet!

    I am so glad you found Brody, so that I could find you! I can’t wait to read more stories, and to continue this FUN journey with you and all my fellow sisters!! 🙂

    1. It does get better with age! 😀
      My mom also says Homeland is a great show because you wanna keep watching even though there is no one to look at in the show with which I respectfully disagree! 🙂 She is a “Jon Snow” gal :))) Absolutely, the love story in Homeland is intoxicating – you love the possibility of impossible love.
      I am so glad I found Brody and all the rest of it followed, too. I am very sincere when I say this has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Who knew? 🙂 Cheers to our journey altogether! <3

    1. Thank you! <3 It was the day your packers and steelers lost! Sorry!
      One fun puzzle for you: Take my birthday 01/22/72 and substitute 1s for 2s and 2s for 1s - whose birthday do you get? 😀

  5. Thank you, Damianista, for sharing your fun story. Uniquely – or maybe not – you were intrigued by the person Damian Lewis before falling madly for the characters he plays. Looking forward to learning about how others became fans.

    1. Thank you for reading! Yes, it’s interesting that I found out things about the actor himself – British, kind, happy husband, family man – before I had any idea about the characters he brought to life. And I was intrigued since you don’t get to see many like this man in Hollywood! And then Brody came along and the rest is history. We will get done with our stories by next week and we can’t wait to share all special and heartfelt fan stories – including yours – with everyone starting the first week of February! This will be FUN!

  6. Aww such a sweet story! Brody brought me to the fandom, as well, so it’s fun that we share that in common!

    1. Oh we definitely share Homeland as our entry point to Damian’s brilliant work! I think Damian had huge waves of fans getting into to his work at two points. First is Band of Brothers. Most of his early fans got to know him through that show. And the second and maybe the bigger one is Homeland. He has great work in The Forsyte Saga and Life and Wolf Hall and of course now Billions, and all of them, I am sure, and in fact I know for a fact, made new fans for Damian, but I believe BOB and Homeland are the two major ones.

  7. Me haz hecho reír mucho con eso de “Quién diablos es Damian Lewis” . Realmente, D, éste es uno de tus mejores post!!! …40 !!??? Pero si pareces de veintitantos!!! Saludos y avisa cuando podamos ver las historias que escribimos.

    1. Muchas Gracias, Analia! I hope I understand the message right – I am much better in understanding Spanish than writing in Spanish!
      “Quien diablos es Damian Lewis?”
      Exactly, these are the first words I uttered to our favorite guy. Can you believe that?
      I can’t, either 😀

      So you can’t believe I am over 40? Thank you much for your kind words, pero no soy veintitantos 😀 I wish. Hahaha.
      But I am definitely young at heart maybe working with young people at school keeps me young!

      Much love to you, we will start publishing your stories in the first week of February and it will last for months. I will make sure to publish yours
      both in English and Spanish so it will be a nice surprise for our Spanish-speaking readers as well. Saludos y Besos!

  8. I missed Homeland totally at 2012, becsuse I’m don’t like war tvinga. But easter 2016 I startled to watch Homeland. I was totally hocked, I loved it. Just like you, totally in Love with Brody, and Brody and Carries lovestory.
    I watched Honeland on Netflix over and over again, for about 2 mounth at least. Read everything about Damian Lewis. It is My first film cruch, had never understand that thing. So at the age of 48 it happend .
    And I’m happy about it.
    But stil miss Brody on Homeland. Even if I watch it, season 6. It’s a big lost. I did never thought they should kill Brody. What I really Belived would happend after Abu Nazir was killed, that he would work on CIA and continue work with Carrie and Saul. I was crying a lot, for rea, several times.
    So Thank you for this nice blog, happy to chair the same Love
    Sorry for My english

    1. Hi Annica, thanks so much for your lovely note and I am happy to meet yet another “Brody widow” 😀

      I totally know what you mean! I had my Kevin Costner crush for more than 20 years and it was big but never like this. I don’t know maybe it’s the age this time around, you know I mentioned “turning 40” as all these were happening, so yeah, it just happened and I was caught totally off guard. No regrets <3

      So glad you like the blog, we hope you come visit us again and please keep your feedback going, fans like you make us keep going and do better! And if you would like yo write your own fan story, we would love to have you on board as well. And, hey, your English is perfectly good! Much Love from us <3

    I was forced by illness to endure a month of idleness this January 2017. How much can you read when a week has gone by with no change in circumstance? Time for a binge watch! I read a review of season six (and not a positive one) of Homeland and thought I’d give season one another try. Yes I’d watched an episode in real time but I couldn’t tolerate how oddly Claire Danes behaved. I know, I know bi-polar! So I got it this time. By The Weekend I was enthralled by Q&A I was in love! I watched a couple of episodes a day; I watched on my iPad in bed, all the way to The Star. This was a serious actor in a serious role. Damian Lewis is a beautiful man. The character he created was alive to me. There is a moment with Jessica where she says “Carrie knows everything” and Brody does almost a double take. Damian shows him about to lie AGAIN and choose not to. In one second. It’s masterful and moving.
    Now I watch Billions on the current end in order to keep up with you ladies! And on the back end just ’cause. There’s much for me to admire but no one to like in the show. I get to see Damian perform always a plus.
    I watch Homeland to catch glimpses of Brody. There’s been a few lately, eh, ladies? Wink and nudge ( – ; That Brody died for the Iran nuclear deal is a proposition I, personally, choose to ignore.
    I watch Life. It’s clearly part of the detective with a hook trend fashionable in it’s time but again Damian Lewis.
    So for me, yeah, its about Brody. Thank you, Damian Lewis!

    1. Thank you! We would be happy to publish this in coming weeks! Could you send it to Or I can just copy/paste from here.
      I still have not caught up with Homeland Season 6, Episode 7 was the last one I watched, and now I am looking forward to catching up!
      And I know JaniaJania is already thinking about a Brody post for this Homeland season – he is one character that has never been forgotten!!!!

  10. Great story, although I feel sorry for Kevin 🙂 ! Mine is pretty much simple- me and my husband were browsing Netflix for some nice tv serial. My request was simple- just something to keep me awake :-)) as I tend to fall asleep really quickly (I fell asleep even during Game of Thrones, I know, do not throw with rocks..). And we started watching Homeland. And I never fell asleep. Neither for me was not love at first sight with Damian
    At the beginning I was like- who is this ginger, come on Carrie, kick his ass. Slowly I grew fond on the character, even though he was not the good guy, and he became the ginger wonder. As someone said, this is Damian, he makes the unlovable to become lovable

    1. I’m sure Kevin is sorry, too! 😀 He should have paid me more attention all those years. His loss 😀 😀 😀

      Haha so Brody kept you awake – that’s an accomplishment on its own, it seems! I completely understand about your love for Brody being slow-cooking. It wasn’t love at first sight for me, either. Yes, this is Damian whose human touch to his characters is second to none.

  11. Just for kicks, I decided to watch Billlions again; I craved some reliable cuteness with an edge of sass. Thanks for writing about yourself, it was truly entertaining. I’m glad you “came out” to your husband, friends and yourself most of all. Isn’t it great just to be real?

    1. Thank you so much, Ononda, you’ve made my day! I love writing about Damian, and I think every piece I write also carries a part of me. But yeah this one is deeply personal and you are absolutely right it is a good feeling, the best, to be real! And I am so happy to hear that the story is entertaining 🙂

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